Reading: Harry Potter & the Half-Blooded Prince
I’m sure most of my faithful readers are dying to hear about my love life down here, since you always here these wonderful stories of Peace Corps romances and what now. However, I am here to say that it has been quite disappointing, aside from my lovely false novio, Nat, but we’ll get to him later.
It seems that guys down here are quite interested in the prospect of having an available gringa around yet they seem widely obliviously to any form of usefully courting techniques in spite of the massive amount of US media dumping that they’re exposed to. Thus, most seem to think that the most appropriate way to attract a girl’s attention is to hiss at her until she acknowledges you, at which they seize the opportunity to say as many degrading things they can think of as rapidly as possible. It must actually work for Ecuadorian ladies, but they can’t seem to figure out the need to revise their tactics for American women.
The other interesting layer to this cake is the whole topic of age… To begin with, it is extremely hard to tell how old someone is because from about age 16 to 30, guys look basically the same… meaning they’re still scrawny and haven’t packed on the beer gut. Women, also, tend to look extremely young for their age, until about 18-20, when they start having children, which tends to put some strain on one’s body. Either way, this factor tends to add an interesting twist to the age norms that are normally observed in American dating culture…
Now, it seems that I have the unfortunate pleasure of attracting rather young Ecuadorians at the moment… I’m still trying to decided if it’s due to my child-like scope of the Spanish language, the fact that they’re the only ones without a current baby mama or if their egos are simply undamaged enough to think that a colegio (read: high school) boy has it together enough to appeal to a college graduate (read: I’m old). Either way, hilarity ensues.
Basically, the story involves said Ecuadorian boy, who is a schoolmate of my 14 year old host brother (warning sign numero uno), who tends to mumble, a factor that makes understanding him very difficult. Now, on one particular afternoon, he shows up at my house after I had been out fishing, asking if I could come with him to the Parroquia. The only person home is my 11-year-old host sister, who I precede to ask if I actually need to go with him. She says yes. So off we go, in a very silent and awkward jaunt to the Parroquia to with no real clear reason as to why were going (he mumbles, remember?). I do however take this time to ask him how old he is… 18 (read: legal).
Anyway, we stop at a roadside stand, where he spends about 15 minutes mumbling to me about his favorite make of motorcycles and videogames until a table opens up… we then sit down and he orders me dinner. At this point, I realize that I’m actually on a date and the dinner that he just ordered me is tripe or intestine. Now, realizing the potential disaster that could come of this, I discretely try to load my tripe up with ahí to hide the flavor. Not make the tripe at all palatable, my suitor attempts to prove that he too can tolerate the hot sauce, which he can’t. I then try to pick politely around the tripe, but he notices… I say I’m not hungry, try to offer him my plate, but he gets it to-go for me instead, and off we head back home. Ironically, he doesn’t seem the least bit upset about how horribly this attempt of a date went and proceeds to ask me when I’m next available to go out with him.
Enter Nat. Before leaving trying, one of my wonderful language instructors told all of us girls that it was in our best interest to come up with a false boyfriend or novio before heading to site. So Nat, one of the guys in my omnibus, is mine (it’s easier, I’ve found, to have someone to base it off of)… However, fidelity isn’t a strong point of young Ecuadorians and apparently telling my colegio friend that I have a novio has not seemed to thwart his attempts to pursuing. Saturday, he brought me a bollo, or mashed up plantains with achote, fish and oil wrapped in a banana leaf and steamed, to eat, although I wasn’t there to enjoy his company…
Since then I had the foresight to ask my host mother about his age, only to find out that he will be 18 this year… as in he’s 17 (read: not legal). Now, I have very explicitly explain to my host brother (my suitor’s friend), my host sister and my host mom that I am in no way interested in continuing this relationship because a. I have a “novio,” b. he’s younger then my brother, c. it’s illegal and d. he fed my tripe; however my host family seems to be at a lost as to why any of those four reasons are actually legitimate. Dios mio.
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| Hornado, Ecuadorian roasted pig |
It seems that guys down here are quite interested in the prospect of having an available gringa around yet they seem widely obliviously to any form of usefully courting techniques in spite of the massive amount of US media dumping that they’re exposed to. Thus, most seem to think that the most appropriate way to attract a girl’s attention is to hiss at her until she acknowledges you, at which they seize the opportunity to say as many degrading things they can think of as rapidly as possible. It must actually work for Ecuadorian ladies, but they can’t seem to figure out the need to revise their tactics for American women.
The other interesting layer to this cake is the whole topic of age… To begin with, it is extremely hard to tell how old someone is because from about age 16 to 30, guys look basically the same… meaning they’re still scrawny and haven’t packed on the beer gut. Women, also, tend to look extremely young for their age, until about 18-20, when they start having children, which tends to put some strain on one’s body. Either way, this factor tends to add an interesting twist to the age norms that are normally observed in American dating culture…
Now, it seems that I have the unfortunate pleasure of attracting rather young Ecuadorians at the moment… I’m still trying to decided if it’s due to my child-like scope of the Spanish language, the fact that they’re the only ones without a current baby mama or if their egos are simply undamaged enough to think that a colegio (read: high school) boy has it together enough to appeal to a college graduate (read: I’m old). Either way, hilarity ensues.
Basically, the story involves said Ecuadorian boy, who is a schoolmate of my 14 year old host brother (warning sign numero uno), who tends to mumble, a factor that makes understanding him very difficult. Now, on one particular afternoon, he shows up at my house after I had been out fishing, asking if I could come with him to the Parroquia. The only person home is my 11-year-old host sister, who I precede to ask if I actually need to go with him. She says yes. So off we go, in a very silent and awkward jaunt to the Parroquia to with no real clear reason as to why were going (he mumbles, remember?). I do however take this time to ask him how old he is… 18 (read: legal).
Anyway, we stop at a roadside stand, where he spends about 15 minutes mumbling to me about his favorite make of motorcycles and videogames until a table opens up… we then sit down and he orders me dinner. At this point, I realize that I’m actually on a date and the dinner that he just ordered me is tripe or intestine. Now, realizing the potential disaster that could come of this, I discretely try to load my tripe up with ahí to hide the flavor. Not make the tripe at all palatable, my suitor attempts to prove that he too can tolerate the hot sauce, which he can’t. I then try to pick politely around the tripe, but he notices… I say I’m not hungry, try to offer him my plate, but he gets it to-go for me instead, and off we head back home. Ironically, he doesn’t seem the least bit upset about how horribly this attempt of a date went and proceeds to ask me when I’m next available to go out with him.
Enter Nat. Before leaving trying, one of my wonderful language instructors told all of us girls that it was in our best interest to come up with a false boyfriend or novio before heading to site. So Nat, one of the guys in my omnibus, is mine (it’s easier, I’ve found, to have someone to base it off of)… However, fidelity isn’t a strong point of young Ecuadorians and apparently telling my colegio friend that I have a novio has not seemed to thwart his attempts to pursuing. Saturday, he brought me a bollo, or mashed up plantains with achote, fish and oil wrapped in a banana leaf and steamed, to eat, although I wasn’t there to enjoy his company…
Since then I had the foresight to ask my host mother about his age, only to find out that he will be 18 this year… as in he’s 17 (read: not legal). Now, I have very explicitly explain to my host brother (my suitor’s friend), my host sister and my host mom that I am in no way interested in continuing this relationship because a. I have a “novio,” b. he’s younger then my brother, c. it’s illegal and d. he fed my tripe; however my host family seems to be at a lost as to why any of those four reasons are actually legitimate. Dios mio.
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